“Be Kind, It helps you too”
In a world where all of us are just looking to be accepted we end up making the world a hard place to live in. If someone has a bad day, it is catastrophic for everyone around them. It’s chaos, it’s the butterfly effect, a small flap of the wing that sends ripples far out, creates a change that ends up being far beyond anyone’s control.
Some things that cannot be taken back as much as you try, some words that linger in the air a split second more than they should. A cadence that unleashes silence into space, I realize in that moment, in the moment that it takes for something to register in someone’s head, the minute that I think of it. I know the second that it has been said out loud, that I didn’t mean it.
Unfortunately just knowing it in my head that I have made a mistake isn’t enough, the words have already made their way into the world and they have a stamp on them now that suggests to anyone that sees them that they once belonged to me. I do not own up to those words they were loose canons that pushed their way through my head and out of my tongue, but I guess my words are loose canons because no matter how much I try to abandon them they are mine in the end. When I look at the words I know that they are loose cannons because that is what they learned from me. I loop into a sequence of overthinking and guilt and it is evident as my anger is eventually directed at me.
Most days I remind myself to keep quiet, when I feel the flutter of a butterfly’s wings. I try to keep it to myself, be a brick wall through which the air cannot pass, against which the ripple of words just crashes and then falls back down. I fight the urge to fall over from these ripples because I know that I am stronger than the gust that is pushing me over, I look at it in pity and I applaud it’s valiant effort to push me over.
Today was not one such day, I knew that I had fallen over way too easily to these ripples.
And like always it is too late once the words have escaped they appeared and vanished into thin air before I tried to grab them and put them back in my head. I think back to an incident and wonder why I reacted the way that I did, I try to justify what I said but I can’t find an excuse even for myself. I breathe in and breathe out and I say to myself that I will be more considerate next time. That I won’t let anything influence the person that I really am. I won’t direct my frustrations from somewhere else to another place.
I lay down and prepare my apologies although I am not sure whether it will be a gesture or I will build up the courage to say it. I remind myself that the world is round and everything comes back in the end. I won’t let someone else’s action stop me from being kind to another person. All of us are just trying to fit into this world. We are all just looking for Validation, for someone to tell us that we are doing fine. Be Kinder to people you might just stop another butterfly effect in its tracks.
Be Kinder, on the internet and In real Life.
